What makes you happy?
I am happy when I feel healthy, young, when my friends and relatives feel good and healthy wealthy. Moreover, I am more than happy when I see no conflicts around.
I believe the most successful people be that in their professional and / or private lives are those who are the masters of negotiations.
Life is too short to spend it on diets, bad moods and conflicts. And I think that most of the conflicts are imaginary.
Conflicts exhaust people, they waste their internal energy and time.
By 2015 the world has seen tremendous examples of conflicts that translated into terrible national wars, conflicts at work leading to sabotage and home violence with relatives killing each other. And who knows what the next years could bring.
Most of the horrible happenings on this planet could have been avoided if the world realised and utilised the enormous power of negotiations.
Just imagine how beautiful life would be when we all live in harmony – more smiling people around who are just happy with their lives. You are glad to open the door to all your neighbours who ring your doorbell.
There will be definitely less broken families, painful divorces with dividing assets and kids.
One will be very glad to work 8-10 hours every day with the same colleagues, and most importantly you would feel much better inside with less conflicts around you.
The key to all is negotiations.
One engages in negotiations every day without noticing – be that with your partner at home on some small issues, in the daily work life or with the strangers in the shops, underground and in more complex life or work projects.
And negotiations is about engaging actively into the fruitful dialogue for both parties.
I clearly remember one episode from my childhood. Once a visitor gave me and my brother one big and fancy box with chocolates. Wow, we were very much excited. We both grabbed the box and started pulling it towards each other. In some seconds the box was ruined, there remained several finger holes in it. The little chocolates just spread out all over the floor and my brother started grabbing as many as he could.
I did not follow suit. I started crying... I was not at all interested in the chocolates. I loved and wanted the box! From the first seconds that I saw it, I was imaging to keep the colourful wrapping papers of the chocolates. The box was ruined with no chance to be repaired.
If we would have talked like mature people trying to identify what is for me of the deep interest in that box of chocolates, we both be happy in the end of the day – I would have my nice and empty box and my brother his chocolates.
The situation ended differently as me and my brother thought that our interests did not overlap.
The situation is not always black and white, there is a huge grey zone in between with several shades of grey. Identify that grey zone through dialogue and move together towards this zone.
Emotions are the biggest stumbling block in the negotiations. That involves pride or people simply not liking each other.
Initiate the dialogue yourself with the “conflict” person or about the “conflict area” that you have been avoiding.
You are afraid probably to lose face by making the first step yourself and to start the dialogue.
Yes, this is a normal for us humans.
People are usually risk-averse.
Example: You have an option to participate in the gamble, whereby you play with your own EUR100 and there is a 50% chance to win EUR200 and 50% chance to lose EUR100.
Mathematically, the left side is equal to the right side.
EUR 100 = EUR 200 * 50% + EUR 0 * 50%
Most still would value more the left side than the right. They would prefer the status quo, keeping euro100 rather than playing.
The same is with your perceived “conflict people” and “conflict areas” – most of us avoid them, they don’t go for the right side of the equation and do not engage in negotiations.
There are multiple literatures on this complex subject. People take years to become professional negotiators. There is no guarantee that you will become one. What I can guarantee is that you can become much better than you were yesterday.
Think about the benefits of not avoiding entering into negotiation. What you see here is the EUR100 gamble upon which you have no influence. If you effectively negotiate, you and your other party would be both better off and you will be ending up with EUR120 or even more.
You never know, your imagined enemy might even turn out to become your friend or you can join forces with this person against something and become good partners…
Dear all visitors,
Learn more about and apply the negotiation skills.
The power of the dialogue is enormous.
It can move the mountains, melt the icebergs and hearts.
~~~Promotions sharing as below~~~
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